When I was asked to write an article on “What does God say about being single?”, I admit I found it quite daunting. How could I address the many issues people face regarding “being single” and show the appropriate amount of sensitivity and grace?

I think this way of thinking highlights one of the key problems: singleness can be very complex.

There is such a wide range of reasons for why someone is single or the difficulties they may face. Whether it is a young person dreaming of finding that “perfect one” to someone who has seen the years roll by yet is still searching for their life partner. Others have been forced back into singleness from the loss of a partner by divorce or death. Some are still processing this new stage of singleness and grieving their loss.

So, let me start with some general advice.

The world loves to put us in boxes by defining us with labels like “single” which carry a connotation that somehow the person is broken or unwanted. I don’t know how many movies, television shows or songs have pushed the narrative, “to be happy, you must have a boyfriend/girlfriend”. The hero not only saves the world, he always ends up with the girl. The girl not only crashes through the “glass ceiling” landing that executive job, she also finds her true-love along the way.

Use God’s labels over your life.
Labels that apply no matter your relationship status. i.e. “Child of God”, “Redeemed”, “Loved”, “Anointed”. This is how God views us. Make sure you are looking at yourself through the lens of what God says about you in the Word.

Guard your heart.
Don’t drink from the world’s streams, then wonder why your soul is sick. It is not wise to have a playlist of “soppy love songs” running in the background while you struggle with feelings of rejection.

Now for some particular advice.
If you are single and looking:

1. Build your faith.
Make sure this is a faith project. God is the BEST matchmaker. Get the Holy Spirit involved, seek His wisdom and ensure you are being obedient to everything He is having you do.

2. Be looking, but not desperate.
(This is where my earlier advice to see yourself through God’s lens is helpful).

3. Serve God wholeheartedly now.
You do NOT need to find your future partner before God can mightily use you.

 

If you are single and rebuilding:

1. Surround yourself with a wonderful support group.
Find people who will help you take steps towards your restoration.

2. Remember, your past does not have to be your future.

3. Get God involved.
He is the master of bringing beauty out of ashes.

 

If you are single and satisfied:

1. Good for you!
There are many great examples in the Word and through Church history of people who were happily single and used mightily by God.

2. Don’t be pressured by this world.

 

In the journey of singleness, much like being a “lampstand” church, aligning with God's perspective is key. Whether looking, rebuilding, or contentedly single, we must guard our hearts, exhibit “bulldog faith” and remain devoted to our first love—Jesus. Trust God to guide you through life's complexities with His unwavering love.

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